I dont know how many people will read this but i will make this post anyways, i just want to open up about my feelings

For some context, i am borderline subhuman, fat, and 5'7 straight up death sentence

to begin with, almost all my "friends" either hate me or are heavily biased against me in anything. I will share a few of my bitter experiences with people, especially females

Whatever im going to say is just the tip of the iceberg
Firstly, I was almost always the punching bag of the friend group, they used to throw me down, push me in front of people, especially in front of girls and say that its all fun and games; back then i had barely hit puberty while they had facial hair which was a huge disparity in puberty, now its a bit better and i dont get bullied but i still dont have any respect. Constantly get discrimiated by my own "friends" in every aspect possible. Whenever we have an argument they just call me ugly and subhuman.

Now coming to people other than my "friends", i get rumours spread about me just because im ugly and an easy pick, like how i would jerk off beside a girl, or ask a girl her n*des online (not true). For most of my sophomore year i had to cover my face and walk with my head down so that i dont get side-eyes and looks by people who got to know these rumours. This made my school life living hell, i stopped talking to almost all girls from highschool.

When i was in a group chat with people from my school, a girl got me removed because i "looked like a creep" and apparently she heard the rumours about me.

Fun fact: my friend's mom called me ugly (not directly to me tho)

Whenever i do talk to females, it has never ended up well. A few girls called me ugly and fat directly to me, and other girls dont even make eye contact with me or talk rudely. When i made the slighest mistake, like a drop a bag at their foot (a light bag), they used to talk sht about me behind my back to their friends. a lot of girls in my year called me ugly, either to me or to their friends. (I got to know this because of the word of mouth spreading). Whenever some calls me ugly directly to me. i get reminded of my fate and it physically hurts me.

A few days ago i played basketball with my friend and a new girl, she was pretty and i developed a crush on her. when i asked my friend wether i can come play again with new girl, he said that she doesnt want me there.

I will send a few ss related to these incidents, i have a hundred more

bombay

My sad little life, i want to end it